Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
