Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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