Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Randomize
