I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
