I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
