Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
