And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I am available for nakedness
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
