Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
