Apparently you make a good broom.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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