if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
