If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
