So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
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