im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
