my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
