Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
