Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
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