i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
