I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
