I'm laying in your front yard are you home
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
