ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
