so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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