I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
