Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
