Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
