ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
