'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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