Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Randomize
