Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Randomize
