Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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