I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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