I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
