Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
