Can Purell be used as lube?
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
