He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I FOUND THE LEGS
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
