Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
