I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Randomize
