Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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