How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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