Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
