I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
