He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
