I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
