Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Randomize
