naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
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