Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
i drank out of a bidet.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
