Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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