That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
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