I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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