All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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