If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I am one with the molecules
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
